here is what I woke up with this morning.... for the direction my blog will now take. Its been swirling around in my head how to proceed, but I woke up suddenly at 430 this morning, and HAD to write this down I will add it to my blog after I swim in my PT class this morning, unless I can do a copy paste.: copy paste works... yay.. I LOVE easy buttons!
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Finding a great me in the forgotten sea... peace by piece.
Peace by piece I have traveled into a place of knowing myself, loving the new me that had to be and making peace with my brain damage, my illness (chronic Fatigue Syndrome), and my 'DIS- ability becoming instead 'differently abled', whatever that meant at the time. And while doing that I was still trying to be the great mom, wife, daughter, friend, girl scout leader I had been along with any other hat I had worn before. Quilting and DIS ability walked hand in hand stitch by stitch, in time piece-fully and peacefully. BUT like anything, it was a process that came to be, over time, trial and error, a great learning curve with great results.
This blog was to be only about the quilts I have made, but instead has become more now as I realize the role each quilt I have made since 1987 has truly been a part of both journeys - the journey recovering from the darkness of brain damage, and making peace with my CFS and Fibromyalgia and all the other things taken away from me. It is about those things given back to me in a jumbled mess of puzzle pieces as well. What 'life' picture would these pieces make when I was done? What would each quilt look like when I finished them? What had I learned about myself in the process? did any memories come back to the surface, when I had held so many years of blankness in the beginning and still do after more than 22 years? What short cuts had I learned in quilting techniques? When had I realized that as I pieced quilts, ripped out seams and made something whole and beautiful out of strips, scraps and torn pieces of fabric - that I gained peace in these pieces!!
Now I see in retrospect why quilting has been so rewarding for me! As I piece together quilts from scraps, I too am piecing together the broken parts of my brain, my 'dis' ability helped me make peace with my past and now I am merely differently-abled than I used to be. I am putting together a puzzle full of multitudes of pieces into something whole, beautiful and awesome in my new me. And it is the same with my quilting, all those pieces are becoming something new from what they used to be as well. As I quilt, I am finding a new me in the forgotten sea - each wave, each quilt, each piece finding its right place stitched in time, stitched in place... piece by piece I've made peace with myself and I find not only an awesome woman coming out of darkness but too I have found an almost Zen like inner state of peacefulness while quilting that carries over into my daily life away from my quilts..
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`Two roads diverged in a wood,
and I --I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
~Robert Frost
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