This quilt had a lot of signifcance for me in 1994, as I decided on the layout of the blocks. To me one of the great things about quilting is how you can change the look of a quilt by taking the same block and putting it in various places. This quilt was the SAME size as my first one for Mindy in the class had been, but as you can see it takes on the form of giant check marks just by the arrangement of the lights and darks in this Log cabin block. I didn't want to struggle again with how to do the borders and knew there was a different way to do them, but I just couldn't remember what it was. So I asked another friend and my mother how to do the borders the 'old way'. I was told to add them to the quilt BEFORE the full qulting process and for me that has been a much easier way to go.
Sometimes with brain damage or with anyone, we each have our own way of learning things and once we find what works to unlock our minds and memories its a great thing to hold on to. For me the way of doing the borders and THEN quilting by machine or hand tying made all of the difference to my learning curve. The summer of 1994 after my youngest daughter's 10th birthday, my oldest daughter (who was 17) and I flew out to the east coast to see her dad and check out colleges for her to attend after her high school graduation in 1995. It had been a fun time for us to get to see her dad, step mom and half sisters again. On this trip we stopped in at an Amish farm house and I found a beautiful Amish quilt in maroon, teal and dusty blue on a black background that followed me home. That quilt in the Dahlia pattern became the master bedroom quilt. So when I was picking colors for the sitting room in our bedroom, for this day bed quilt, that was where I took my inspiration. I wish I'd had the foresight to have bought extra of THE AMISH fabrics, but I just didn't think that far ahead. At any rate once home and both girls were back in school, I started working on this twin quilt. The blocks started to come easier for me as I had so much repetition. I knew I didn't want to do the ;fields and furrows; layout again.
I'd had a conversation with my husband during the time I was making this quilt and I knew he was ready to take his wishesthat he'd spoken to me in 1989, when he told me this was too difficult for him to stay with us and other things came to light as well that were very hard for me to hear. So when I got to the point of placing the blocks to make a design from the lights and darks.... the giant check mark seemed to fit my mood of the moment.
This quilt became my 'check mate' quilt and did indeed go onto the day bed in our room. It was a sad time for me but at the same time I truly understood and I was happy that he felt I was getting well enough he COULD bail and be ok with leaving me to raise the kids. I didn't hold any ill will toward him or my situation but instead embraced it and kept working even harder to be the best I could be.
We had married in 83 and in 87 when my disability hit, I guess it was just too soon in such a young marriage. It was kind of funny though because I began to gather more strength of purpose, stubborness to succed, and my sense of humor really got the best of me with my addlepated mind, because every time I'd walk into our bedroom and see this finished check mate quilt, I would get a smile on my face and think to myself how truly blessed I had been these 7 years. My husband had stood by me and helped me with the kids, along with an army of others who as I got better each year would fall by the wayside and let me take on more of my own mothering and being a wife. So many things were still really hard for me but TRULY I FELT BLESSED that I had come so far! Life was handing me lemons, so I made lemonade and shared it with my friends. I don't drink the stuff, but we sure had good talks over the drinking of the stuff anyway.
I have always been blessed with an abundance of positive thinking and optimism, no matter what my circumstances were, and this was just one more hurdle I had to prove to myself I could overcome. My girls were the greatest kids a mom could have, and while we weren't problem free, we were a family of girls who knew we had love and would get through things, one day at a time, piece by piece, when we let love keep us going. WE knew it had to get better and we would find peace at some point. IT was a VERY hard time of our lives, but at the same time I am sure it wasn't as hard as the last 7 years had been on my girls. Unfortunately with my memory problems as it was back then I wouldn't know how bad it was, if not for the diaries I worked to write in and kept. I'm just glad my girls didn't disown me along the way lol ... and happy we DID have each other.
It is now 2010 and I don't know what happened to this quilt... but I think I gave it to the homeless or something once I no longer needed, nor wanted it around. But again I was happy because this quilt I FINISHED ON MY OWN. NOW I felt ready for whatever came next and was looking forward to my next class.
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